the dandelion king & what a soul is

soul explanation story
i like to ask finn what his ideas of things are, especially when abstract concepts come up all the time, because i just really know he thinks about these things lately. he always has an answer. the other day i asked him what a soul was. and he said immediately, it's your body. and i said, but your body's your body! then he said, it's wound around you neck and sometimes with your brain. it makes your brain. then i said: it's with your brain? he said, it's next to it. sometimes it's on it. and sometimes it falls off. where does it go? to your bones. so what does it look like? a triangle. what color? black. and it's in my neck right now.

the butterflies are mating! Or, the difference between what a dog dreams and what a coyote dreams

recent trains and dog ecstasy story
recently i went on a train through the rust belt, up through illinois, ohio, to syracuse new york for a job interview. conversations on trains; french toast; the feeling of sitting up, statuesque, sleeping:::noises, silences, of sleeping people-- a sort of beautiful vulnerability. i changed into my outfit in the amtrak station at syracuse, got ready. pulled my hose apart but luckily had another outfit. ate at subway. looked around me--most of my visions are of the college campus there, and then of the walk i took that evening after all was done, walking from the mall-- where i hung out for several hours, drinking a sangria, then a chai--to the amtrak station. no flowers. vast parking lot outside of macy's. weirdly, i had been to the syracuse train station more than a decade earlier when my sister got married in boston: my friend dropped me there after an all-night drive--she was going to work on an animal rescue farm in upstate new york--. . .anyway, the hallway, white with windows, stretching from the trains to the station: i remembered it. and now i've been home, and reading emotional books to finn. the day after we read one called "old coyote", he painted a purple painting of a dog dreaming of another dog. in "old coyote" the coyote dreams himself into another world as he dies--he spends the whole book preparing to die/dream in this beautiful way--thinking about how wonderful the world is, how warm the sun is, how he has lived a good life. grateful, in an animal way. like a tree is grateful, or a plant. i am grateful, i hope. i think i am. when i think, i am. "the butterflies are mating!" someone declared, yesterday. sure enough, orange and black butterflies were startled up out of the be-dandelioned fields today in hickory hill, by ecstatic finn and his friend annika, and of course by the quinn dog. who is also ecstatic. who just turned twelve years old: old dog now. "the dogs are getting old!" the quark said to the clock. be-ribboned be-rainbowed be-dandelioned dog, i love you, i grateful you, happy birthday.

. . .

I can imagine the body
embroidered to the soul

The color of the sea
the earth
embedded in every touch

--pam rehm

the difference between eggs and rocks, purple and green

EGGS, ROCKS, FLOWERS (purple), river. . .

we have been, lately, to the place where there was the ocean in iowa: fossil gorge::::and we've seen new forest flowers there, and finn's thrown rocks in the river; and lilacs've been blooming, and eggs've been dyed and painted, and i've collected rocks and flowers and purple pebbles at midnight to bring to the chameleon in the garden, and my friend lauren has painted a book full of books, and most notably to my eye "The Love Wife" (what is up with that word, wife?)::::::::and chocolate chip pancakes of a saturday morning i do declare it: chocolate chip pancakes!

also a be-rainbowed bow lauren and i found sitting cheerily on the ped mall.

- - -
"the earth connects to the soul" (pam rehm)

beyond the stars, the rivers

Good Recent Days! :::::a date with myself and the iowa river and reflections:::: finn and a tree::::::::our favorite cookies, oatmeal chocolate walnut---our home--a collage i made, like a date with myself (and also part of the artist's way)--"ideas like babies/ wake me up"--

- - -
Faith is underfoot

Life's whole comfort lies
in listening deep to the sounds in dreams

Beneath the covering vegetation

Beyond the stars

--Pam Rehm, from poem "The Depths of the World"

love is each other

absence, traveling
i have not posted for so long! i did go to nyc: it was a birthday present. today i asked finn what love was and he said "each other." the other day we were sitting on the porch and saw a bunch of crows land in the neighbor's tree across the way. what are they doing, mama? i guess they're having a conversation. what's a conversation?

i have been cleaning and rearranging and that feels good. there is a place for everything. the rooms have some new feeling to them. i'm busy but soon will be less busy: that's a nice thought. love is each other; all is well.