this week i am not sure. it was a festive weekend, with parties and parades and puppets. yet this week i am not sure. my friend asked me tonight, how has my relationship with finn changed? i could hardly explain that--she last knew finn a year ago, when he was 2. yesterday he liked the funny face i made and so he said very seriously, looking at me with a gravity, "mama, i love you." he's never said it just like that, stopping everything else to say it, that's why i was so glad. that's what i told her to explain the change in our relationship. finnegan is a person now--and he can be considerate, or pushy, or easily frustrated, or easily happy and dancey too. he danced under spiderwebs today as lauren beat-boxed a song in the "party haunted garden". i am impatient far too much, always hurrying him, moving him along, getting him buckled in, saying i'll be late for work, or late for meeting someone, or late for storytime,or his preschool, or puppet shows, i am always late, it is always happening that way. hurry up! buckle in! mama, you're kidding? that's what he always asks. because sometimes i do a crazy gruff voice because i don't know what else to do, that's how bad i freak out when stresssed. mama you're kidding?
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