the latest in his bath documentary: bath at 2 and a half!

the way we play, lately

we play with hedgehogs in this dollhouse, picked up at a garage sale when finn was a little baby. . .& lately peter and i both add little embellishments; he's been fashioning paper fireplaces, clocks, fridges; i cut out little pieces of blue felt and made quilts, pillows, a rug--

finn is into the animal imaginative play now, so into it. he still plays with his trucks and cars, but now he loads them up with animals. or else he creates characters for them as well, always starting the conversation with something like "hi! are you? I am a car! want mac-n-cheese baby?" (ordino, penguin, cow, hedgehog, etc.) yes and his "how are you" is always missing the "how". . .

affirmations, drawings, creatures [there was a woman so ecstatic her belly was clear and you could see inside it and there were babies in there]

i have found myself recently drawing lots of doodles with babies inside bellies;;; i kind of can't stop. it makes me realize how much i yearn for next baby, if ever there is to be one. not very soon--if ever there will be one--but o, not very soon.

it's okay. here we have winter going on. last night i listened to the show on "being" called "the soul in depression". . . i am going through lots of self-helpy steps towards getting out of mine. it is working! here are some of the results of some of the steps i've been going through--

blizzarded

clearing out the old mind-webs (please indulge a long list)

example of a list you might see here (33 for nearing the end of my 33rd year)
1 write a poem
2 apply to jobs for summer
3 go on an artist date
4 playdate or just hang out
5 finish f's quilt
6 write a children's book with l.
7 bake bread and quiche
8 walk or dance ASAP
9 shake and silence (yoga on thursdays)
10 write letters to friends
11 blog
12 write a list
13 write a poem every tuesday like m.
14 write a song every friday okay
15 begin collecting poems for children's book anthology
16 make children's album actually too
17 record things on my hand-held recorder
18 get some new books and music
19 organize everything for all classes that i teach (3 this semester)
20 make finn a happy corner and train pants
21 make sure everyone i love knows i love them and value them
22 find whale poster and miro poster (blue whale jumping out of water and miro’s blue i-iii)
23 paint with watercolors and then little line drawings on outside
24 finish & send thank you cards from the holidays
25 write out affirmations and quotes beautifully, and hang them on the wall
26 swim with f
27 find new pants
28 walk quinn all the time and love
29 finish all the books i’m reading it’s annoying to read things for so long
30 send out poetry manscript and hard earned cash to first book contests
31 finish cover letter for the full-time teaching job i’m applying for
32 finish c.v. too, boo
33 finish knitting projects and other lovely things for all the new friend-babies and cousin-babies on the (soon!) way

from here it looks like this

dear friends, this is what it looks like these days all around my desk, which is in the upstairs bedroom now, which is my room (now). kind of self-helpy i guess. but, i like it here. i painted that "happy" on those cool little tiny canvasses, intending to make a happy calm-down-and-feel-good corner for finn in his room (also hoping to make a beanbag for that calm down corner) but well for now i have hijacked that happy and stuck it above my window, inviting some in, perhaps. otherwise these days i am trying to be okay with the unknown, with living in the unknown, more okay with it than i've ever been before, trying to kiss that unknown which is, in fact, unknowable. hee hee!

finn keeps talking about going to the seashore. i agree with that, i tell him. so, if anybody's got an ocean for me, send it over. yrs & kindly, a blue whale

dance boy etc.

some things! like, we have been playing, outside & in~~~we even went to a "kid-friendly" music show;;;;;and finn spun around with fellow toddler noam through many songs.;;;;i pulled him in the purple sled to follow the trains in the gulley by our house;;;;AND! i made a bag for a friend's birthday that i've been trying to make for a year, exactly. and i think it took an hour and a half to make, or so.///what else? just finn playing naked with trucks. . .