Slowly slowly I am shedding myself. Have you ever felt this? My curly crusty old skin came off and now I'm this. Or. What is it? I don't know; I don't know if it really happened. Maddening! Here are my tasks for this week:
And:::::Superman can only be blurry! And check out the black rocking chair beyond him--'twas found free on the roadside----
Flip to this fact: moving again. Here are the colors I have chosen for this new place: Songbird for living room, salmon for my bedroom, almost aloe for Finn's------and here's to new things, and what shall be new, and even though there's no such thing as new, if you think: matter is neither created nor destroyed (and always really old------)but old is not the opposite of new!
Did I mention that today I feel new? I feel new. It's oddish, like an awkward baby bird whose wings are too big, thus causing an off-balancing and a tottering and a falling over and a getting up (several times). Well I feel new, odd. (Roethke: "I'm odd and full of love"). It's also good, a lift--a mood lift--I've been eating lots of veggies and taking fish oil pills and exercising--and eating much less sugar. Perhaps it is working?! After not eating sugar for a few days, I did notice, upon eating some chocolate, that sugar is a crazy drug. I've also just been letting go, letting go, letting go (notions of control). Again, perhaps, perhaps it is working!?Here, Finn and I paint on the porch; this also feels good; this was this morning, Sunday morning:
Hey and! New blue notebooks, came in a pair, & now it is time to write please yes. (come on, all expenses paid 2 week writing retreat??!! . . . need it.)::::
Oh, at the farmer's market, up in the tree:
And making a tofu-garlic scape stirfry, market bounty:
Feeling fortunate to shed who I am and walk into the new and not new. Feeling various, feeling full of the mystery and thinking about love all the time. (Don't understand it.)Feeling blessed by that boy who is growing, growing--and just trying to stay present for that, and that, and that. Self! Who? Guitar! Doesn't Finn look like he is 5?!
Thanks for sharing with me this strange place of pause and stretch before lots and lots of changes--(some of which already have happened, making them new and not new. Not quite born yet alive already you know--slow, like summmer. I will simply sip, and notice, and let go into it.)
