what are you doing except entering a cloud

hi i have been gone from this blog for so long! things take long to get done! i was caught in a downpour downtown this week; then i went into prairie lights and bought a new book, and i love the first poem so much in this book. i will not type out the whole poem here! this is merely a part! (it's by nathaniel tarn and called "Pursuit of the Whole & Parts):

what are you doing except entering a cloud
so that your task is to become ever more pure
until no shred of remembrance of any part remains with you
and thought of any part immediately drowns into the whole,
[the thought or apprehension of the whole]--and you are
now so desperately wretched and one-sided. No, it is the
stubbornness, the innate cussedness [and stubbornnes] of the part,
any part, [any part whatsoever], dropped by circumstance
into a consciousness, [birth taken in a consciousness]--
as part of a whole, you understand, you cannot,

[absolutely cannot] do without that part-enabling whole.
It is that stubbornnes which links you to the moment,
to the circumstantial existence of yourself in time,
as if you were a note in music, or a bird
in a flock of birds disappearing into winter
and the moment is the only thing you truly possess,
can every possess, the very definition of possession
and that possession is the possession of a part, a part only,
indeed the moment [the very moment], is nothing but a part,
and never yet of a whole. (. . .)





*i keep wanting to make posts and talk about happiness and epicurus and this stuff we've been discussing in my classes (i'm excited about it) and also how finn is going through a wild willfullness at the same time as he is doing so many new cool things and just becoming himself and how today was such a hard day and i almost lost it and i yelled! but! i have to teach tomorrow in the a.m.! i cannot talk about these things or anything!

happy autumn!