the way things happen/ halt and crouch and pray and think

home story/ poem story i have moved so many times and i never wish to move again but i know i probably will. i can hardly face that thought. but i don't have to. right now: we are here. in des moines, iowa, living near the des moines river, near downtown and a bookstore called "plain talk" that serves coffee-- that i'm excited to check out but haven't yet, near the amazing union park, with a carousel and a rocketship playground that finn calls "my rocketship"; here, living in this city that has bike trails coming out its ears. seriously, i haven't itched for a bike like this in a long time; one could take daytrips around the city on these trails! and did i mention? finn has turned 4, suddenly, in this very town, the one we just moved to!? and i made him an explorer cape, and a whale, as requested. and this summer has been a blur of the amazing poet friends and readings and giving a lecture and wine on the porch and watching kids and trying not to go crazy and my book coming out and having no money and surviving and worrying and MOVIng, now, like usual, like usual. a blur, a literal blur. i have a home now though,wonderful home, and so grateful i am, and there're good feelings. i want to just halt and crouch and pray and think. that's what i've wanted to do for a while. i hope to post more now, to keep posting; i hope to get in healthy rhythms; i hope to enjoy this life and the moments in it; i hope to write in the attic like a madwoman, a goodwoman, a batwoman. i hope to write letters. be in friendships wholeheartedly. i shall stop eating sugar and walk. all of that talk. i still have it and i can say it and mean it, and, i mean, i can do it. only just in moments. and i will and i shall. new beginning, homes, poems, people, love. love, i mean, love, whirlwind friendship drench, ah, i can hardly take it, "To touch my person to someone else's is about as much as I can stand"--and practicing this: practicing courage (finding grit in me), friendship (finding where love is in me), love (finding out who i am as a friend to me), trust(patience, tenderness,careful care, kindness):: and dreaming/wondering about what time is. and also thinking about autumn, around the bend, after this hellish heat drought summer--i do love you, all the world, the green, the sun, i do. and i love autumn too. we're friends ain't we!?! (and here i rub your head with my head)